Skip to Main Content

Safe

A Memoir of Fatherhood, Foster Care, and the Risks We Take for Family

See More Retailers

About The Book

“If you want a lifechanging book, this is the one to read.” —The View

“A truly revealing” (Hillary Clinton) memoir of an unlikely journey to parenthood through America’s broken foster care system.

What does it take to keep a child safe?

As a long-time strategist and activist fighting for better outcomes for foster children, Mark Daley thought he knew the answer. But when Ethan and Logan, an adorable infant and a precocious toddler, entered their lives, Mark and his husband Jason quickly realized they were not remotely prepared for the uncertainty and complication of foster parenting.

Every day seven hundred children enter the foster care system in the United States, and thousands more live on the brink. Safe offers a deeply personal and “riveting” (Booklist) window into what happens when the universal longing for family crashes up against the unique madness and bureaucracy of a child protection system that often fails to consider the needs of the most vulnerable parties of all—the children themselves.

Daley takes us on a roller-coaster ride as he and Jason grapple with Ethan and Logan’s potential reunification with their biological family, learn brutal lessons about sacrifice, acceptance, and healing, and face the honest, heartbreaking, and sometimes hilarious challenges of becoming a parent at the intersection of intergenerational trauma, inadequate social support, and systemic issues of prejudice.

For fans of Nicole Chung’s All You Can Ever Know, Stephanie Land’s Maid, and Roxanna Asgarian’s We Were Once a Family, Safe is “a strong indictment of a failed child welfare system, but with an unexpectedly happy ending that speaks to the power of love” (Kirkus Reviews).

Excerpt

Prologue Prologue
I want to write this story like a fairy tale.

I want it to be a love song. Something Taylor Swift would write.

I want to romanticize the plight of a young woman on a bus that smelled like diesel and potato chips, alone and pregnant, a five-month-old baby asleep on her lap.

I want her to be the heroine, riding toward the unknown with all the virtue and strength and resilience we automatically ascribe to mothers, with no thought of the burden.

I want to imagine the husband she left behind, endowing him with the will and power to move heaven and earth to keep his family whole.

I want to write this story so that it’s clear who is the hero and who is the villain. Who deserves to parent and who does not.

But in real life, those things are rarely as clear as in fairy tales.

This is what I know: A pregnant woman with a five-month-old baby got on a Greyhound bus to California with no money, one diaper, no food, and no hope. She felt broken. She didn’t know her family was about to crash into a child welfare system that was just as broken.

And I had no idea her family was on a collision course with mine. Or that life is rarely as simple as a love song.

About The Author

Photograph by Mark Daugherty
Mark Daley

Mark Daley is a social activist, entrepreneur, and foster-turned-adoptive father. Daley has over two decades of experience in message development, communication strategy, and public policy, including as a communications director and spokesperson for then-Senator Hillary Clinton’s 2008 presidential campaign. He has worked with more than thirty members of Congress, numerous governors, and other elected officials. He is the founder of One Iowa, the state’s largest LGBTQ+ equality organization, and TheFosterParent.com, a national platform to connect interested families with foster organizations. Daley lives in Southern California with his husband and three children.

Product Details

  • Publisher: Atria Books (March 11, 2025)
  • Length: 304 pages
  • ISBN13: 9781668008799

Resources and Downloads

High Resolution Images