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Accidents of Marriage

A Novel

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About The Book

“A complex and captivating tale” (The Boston Globe) which takes an engrossing look at the darker side of a marriage—and at how an ordinary family responds to an extraordinary crisis, forcing a couple to decide when a marriage is too broken to fix.

Maddy, a social worker, is trying to balance her career and three children, but her husband’s verbal furies have made the family wary and frightened. Where once his fiery passion had been reserved for defending his clients, now he’s lashing out at all of them. She vacillates between tiptoeing around him and asserting herself for the sake of their kids—keeping a fragile peace—until the rainy day when they’re together in the car and Ben’s volatile temper gets the best of him, leaving Maddy in the hospital fighting for her life.

Randy Susan Meyers takes us inside the hearts and minds of her characters, alternating among the perspectives of Maddy, Ben, and their fourteen-year-old daughter, Emma. A People magazine Book Pick, Accidents of Marriage is a “beautifully written, poignant, and thought-provoking novel” (Kirkus Reviews, starred review) that will resonate deeply with women from all walks of life, ultimately revealing the challenges of family, faith, and forgiveness.

Excerpt

Accidents of Marriage Chapter 1 Maddy
Maddy ran her tongue over her teeth, imagining the bitter taste of a crumbling tablet of Xanax. After a gut-wrenching day at the hospital nothing tempted her more than a chemical vacation. Nothing appealed to her less than cooking supper. Churning stomach acid—courtesy of work—coupled with anxiety that Ben might come home as frenzied as he’d left made a formidable appetite killer.

She could bottle it and make a fortune.

Each morning she spun the wheel on the Ben chart, hoping the arrow would hit happy husband, or at least neutral guy. Today his arrow landed on total bastard, holding her personally responsible for Caleb’s tantrum, which—oh, horror!—had cost Ben twenty minutes of work.

She considered taking a pill, but the rites of family happiness demanded her attention. Gracie and Caleb sprawled on the rug, recovering from their day at camp: seven-year-old Caleb, half asleep, rubbing his cheek with his thumb; nine-year-old Gracie’s glazed eyes fixed on the television. Emma, her oldest, a day camp counselor at fourteen, would be home soon.

Sluggish inertia kept Maddy stapled to the couch despite her long list of waiting tasks. Chop vegetables, pay the mortgage, and catch up on laundry before the kids ran out of socks. Find a stamp somewhere in the mess she called her desk so she could mail the electric bill. Give her children feelings of self-worth. Plus, since she and Ben had fought that morning, he’d need soothing. Fellatio came to mind.

Indestructible fabric, the sort bought by parents with children prone to transferring their sticky snacks to the upholstery, prickled against her bare arms. She lusted for air-conditioning as she’d once longed for peace, justice, and her husband. Each suffocating Boston summer in their badly wired Victorian became more hateful and Ben’s warnings about global warming swayed her less. According to Ben, her environmental ethics turned situational with each drop of perspiration.

Pressing the small of her back didn’t ease the permanent knot lodged deep and low, nor did shoving a small hard pillow against it. Her stomach growled despite her lack of desire for food.

Fish sticks would be easy, but she couldn’t bear turning on the oven.

The back door slammed. Emma banged her backpack on the table. Her daughter’s way of saying I’m home.

“Emma?”

“What?”

Maddy struggled up from the couch and headed toward the kitchen. “Just making sure it’s you.”

“Were you expecting someone else?” she asked.

“It could have been Daddy.”

“Right.” What an all-purpose word right had become in their family, their polite way of saying, I am acknowledging you have spoken, but am choosing not to engage in any meaningful way. Lately, they used it all too often.

Newspapers they’d tried to read at breakfast covered half the table. Emma stared into the refrigerator as Maddy gathered the papers, unsure whether to recycle them. Had Ben finished reading the Boston Globe? The New York Times?

“There’s nothing to eat,” Emma said. “In Caro’s house—”

The sound of breaking glass followed by Caleb’s scream interrupted before Emma could specify just how superior a shopper Caro’s mother was.

“Mom!” Gracie yelled. “Come here!”

Emma followed as Maddy ran to the living room.

“Jesus, what happened?” Maddy crouched next to Caleb, her stomach dropping at the sight of blood pouring from his foot. Shards of glass surrounded him, liquid droplets of milk clinging to the pieces, a larger white puddle pooling on the wooden floor. She grabbed a wadded-up napkin to staunch the blood, crouching awkwardly to avoid cutting her knees.

Gracie’s mouth trembled. “I just got up, that’s all, and I knocked over his milk glass. He got mad and screamed, then he stood up and kicked the glass and it broke. He stepped on it. It wasn’t my fault!”

“It’s okay, Gracie.” Blood soaked through the napkin, dissolving the paper as she exerted pressure. “Emma, get me a damp towel.”

This was preventable, Ben would say. This is why we have plastic glasses.

“Make it stop, Mommy!” Tears cut through the dirt on Caleb’s cheeks.

She pressed harder. Gracie mopped the spilled milk with a dirty T-shirt from her backpack.

“Here.” Emma held out a dripping kitchen towel.

“You need to wring it out, Emma. Never mind, just get a clean one.”

Emma stomped out with Gracie in her wake. Wet cloth slapped in the sink.

“Give this to Mom.” Emma’s voice from the kitchen was extra loud.

Using the hem of her black cotton skirt, Maddy covered the napkin. Gracie returned with a new towel. Emma watched from the doorway, twirling the bottom of her long brown braid.

Maddy peeled away her skirt and replaced it with the towel, Caleb whimpering. “Do I have to go to the doctor?” He squinted as she peeked under the towel.

“It doesn’t look too deep, but it has to be cleaned,” she said. “I don’t think we need a doctor.” Maddy’s pulse calmed. She stopped rushing ahead in her mind: wrapping Caleb’s foot safely enough to hold in the bleeding until they got to the emergency room, packing the kids in the car, calling Ben. She looked again—making sure her decision was based on wisdom and not wishful thinking. It wasn’t gaping. The bleeding had slowed.

He tried to pull his foot away. “No! No cleaning. It’ll hurt.”

Emma squatted next to them. “You let Mom wash out the cut and I’ll play Monopoly.” Caleb’s smile came through like a sun shower.

“That’s sweet, honey.” Maddy should appreciate Emma’s goodness and stop losing patience with her sulks and eye rolling. “Thank you.”

“Can I play?” Gracie asked.

“No,” said Caleb. “Just me and Emma.”

Gracie’s lip quivered at her brother’s words, leaving Maddy torn between soothing and yelling Stop it, especially when she saw Gracie make the tiny sign of the cross she’d picked up from Grandma Frances, Ben’s mother, a woman given to reflexive ritual blessings. Gracie’s gesture unsettled Maddy. Next thing she knew, her daughter would be genuflecting at Our Lady of the Virgins. Buying her a Jewish star or a Unitarian flaming chalice, before Grandma Frances hung a crucifix over Gracie’s bed, went on her to-do list. Mixed marriage only went so far.

“Monopoly is better with more people, Caleb.” Pregnant women should be required to take classes in referee and negotiation skills along with breathing and panting lessons.

“No. I only want to play with Emma.”

Gracie pulled at her camp-grimy toes. “How about you and I make chocolate sauce while they play?” Maddy suggested. “We could have hot fudge sundaes for supper.”

“Ice cream for supper?” Gracie raised her chin off her knees.

“Why not?” She pushed back her daughter’s sweaty black curls, the only visible part of Maddy that Gracie had inherited. The kids divided their parents’ parts and shared few: Skinny Caleb had Ben’s thick brown hair, Maddy’s long lashes and narrow shoulders. Poor Gracie, like Ben, would have to fight a tendency toward getting thick in the middle. Emma, wiry like Maddy, had her father’s sharp cheekbones.

Emma rolled her eyes. “Healthy, Mom.”

“Shut up, Emma,” Caleb said.

“You shut up. Or I won’t play with you.”

“I’ll play,” Gracie said.

“No. Emma picked me. Wash my cut, Mommy.”

• • •

A child leaned on either shoulder. With feet propped on the coffee table, Maddy drifted in and out of sleep. Dirty bowls decorated with blobs of hardened fudge littered the room. After cresting to a quick high of giggles over supper, they’d slumped into queasy sugar comas.

They stirred at the sound effects of Ben’s nightly return: the car rolling on gravel. Scrape of heat-swollen door opening. Keys dropping on the hall table. Briefcase thudding to the floor. Sighs of relief or disgust indicated his mood level. Despite their early-morning fight, Ben sounded audibly benign. Thank God. Maybe it would be a Swiss night, with the living room their first neutral zone.

Ben entered the living room and surveyed their collapsed bodies and the scattered Monopoly pieces. Gracie pulled away and ran to him, throwing her hands around his waist. He stroked her black ringlets into a little bundle at the back of her head as she leaned into his slightly softening middle. He had the body of a forty-three-year-old man who fought gravity by playing handball twice a week, but who’d given up crunches. Not bad, but unlike Maddy, who ran and used free weights and the rowing machine in their basement, his battle against time brought fewer visible rewards.

“What happened?” he asked. “It looks like a war zone.”

“We had some excitement. Our boy cut himself.”

Caleb held out his bandage-swathed foot while still staring at the television.

“You okay?” Ben asked. He gave Gracie one last pat and went to the couch. “Hurt much?”

Caleb shrugged. “I guess. A little.” He studied Maddy as though seeking the right answer.

Ben laid a hand on Caleb’s calf. “Can you walk on it?”

“Sorta. I hop on my heel on that side.”

“It’s on the ball of his foot. The inside,” Maddy said.

“How’d it happen?” Ben tugged on his chin—his poker tell that steam could build at any moment.

Maddy leaned over Caleb and kissed her husband, hitting the side of his mouth he offered. “Forgetting anything?” she asked. “Hello, Maddy? How are you?”

He exhaled. “Don’t start. I’ve had a rough day.”

Kissing was starting? It is when you’re being sarcastic, she answered herself, using Ben’s lecture voice. “He fell asleep and then got up without remembering there was a milk glass next to him. It was an accident.” She knew the lie was barely plausible, but she also knew it was just enough for him to avoid being prosecutorial.

“Where was he sleeping? The recycle bin?”

“Very funny. A glass broke. End of story.” There. The truth snuck in.

“Why can’t the kids eat and drink at the table like they’re supposed to? Why weren’t they using plastic glasses?” He ran his hands through his hair. “Look at this place. It’s a mess. No wonder everyone’s always having accidents.”

Caleb rubbed his thumb back and forth across his knee. Gracie crossed herself.

“Not now, okay? Please.” She sent him a significant look.

Ben flexed his shoulders, leaned back on the couch, and stared at the ceiling. He took a deep breath, seeming to remember the anger management sheet Maddy had forced on him six months ago, after he’d thrown a shoe. At the wall, he insisted each time she mentioned the incident. Not at you. But her message had landed. For once, she’d broken through his endless rejections of her careful observations about his temper.

Good thing. She’d gritted her teeth through his rages, but she’d be damned if their house became a physical battleground. He’d scared himself when he’d thrown the shoe—just as he had years before when he’d thrown a bottle of detergent against the wall. The difference was this time he’d listened to her. He’d read the sheet despite hating it when she supposedly social-worked him. Save it for your clients, he’d yell when she deconstructed him. The children. Their marriage. You’re not my shrink, you’re my wife.

If he didn’t want her to social-work him, then she sure wished he’d learn to manage his own moods. Maddy’s sister insisted that one day it would be too late for anger prevention sheets and other tricks. Vanessa had no patience for Ben’s rages, but Maddy blamed herself for the antagonism her family felt toward Ben. Maddy overshared. Everything negative, anyway. When had she last called her sister to say things were going great? To brag about Ben taking an entire day to make sure Gracie could ride her bike safely? How often did she mention that Ben took the kids to the movies while she went for a massage?

At least her mother pretended to love Ben. For which Maddy was grateful.

“We had ice cream for supper,” Caleb announced.

Emma’s shoulders squared. Gracie pressed into Maddy.

Ben turned to Caleb. “Ice cream?”

“With hot fudge,” Caleb added.

“Nice to be rewarded for breaking a glass, huh?” Ben kicked off his shoes. “Since I haven’t fallen or broken anything, what do I get for supper?”

Emma jumped up. “Should I make you eggs, Dad?”

“Thank you, honey. That would be terrific.” He leaned back and closed his eyes.

Gracie tapped his forehead. He blinked and gave her a tired smile. “What is it, cupcake?”

“Want me to cut up carrots for you?”

Maddy grabbed the laundry basket from where she’d dropped it in the corner of the living room and hurried out before she had to witness the girls wait on Ben. It drove her crazy watching them being trained in the fine art of placating an angry man, but try explaining that one. What, a child couldn’t feed a hungry father?

After throwing in a white wash and rummaging through the crowded shelves for fabric softener, she dragged over a small dusty step stool and climbed up, stretching to reach behind the jumble of cleaning supplies. She pulled out a dusty Baggie that held a few tablets, took out a yellow one, bit off half, and swallowed it dry. Sometimes she wondered if she could remember all of her caches. Keeping them scattered around the house gave her a convoluted sense of peace and safety. She might reach for one pill in a week; she might reach in every day. Either way, knowing that they were never more than a few steps away comforted her.

• • •

Back in the kitchen, remnants of Ben’s eggs and carrots littered the countertop. She cleared the debris to one side to make sandwiches for the kids’ lunch boxes. Trying to spread cold peanut butter made her hate Ben’s mother. Frances had spent the past forty-six years appeasing Ben’s father’s neuroses by keeping a spotless house and refrigerating peanut butter, on constant guard against food poisoning, bacteria, and dust.

Because of Frances, they ate hard peanut butter.

The bread tore. She folded it around the wad of Skippy and shoved it in her mouth. Then she got a fresh slice and began making the sandwiches again: grape jelly for Caleb, blueberry for Gracie, and for Emma, Maddy’s mother’s homemade orange preserves.

Anger exhausted her. She waited for the kiss of Xanax to kick in, Prince Charming bearing a sheath for her nerves.

Ben hadn’t cared if they ate hot mayonnaise and slept on typhus-encrusted sheets when they’d met, not while they burned off the searing heat of their early years. He’d been exciting, her Ben, a public defense lawyer demanding the world give his wrecked clients a break—a little justice, a fair shot. She could barely breathe around him, some part of her always needing to touch some part of him. Her hand on his shoulder. An ankle casually leaning against his calf.

Ben dwarfed everyone, racing through life with exclamation points coming out all sides. Poverty to the right? Boom! Racism? Pow. Dirty landlords? Gotcha!

Who knew all that passion and rage could be directed at a late car payment? A missing button.

Her.

Reading Group Guide

This reading group guide for Accidents of Marriage includes an introduction and discussion questions intended to help your reading group find new and interesting angles and topics for your discussion. We hope that these ideas will enrich your conversation and increase your enjoyment of the book.


Introduction

From the bestselling author of The Comfort of Lies comes an engrossing look at the darker side of a marriage—and at how an ordinary family responds to an extraordinary crisis.

Maddy is a social worker trying to balance her career and three children. Years ago, she fell in love with Ben, a public defender, and was drawn to his fiery passion, but now he’s lashing out at her during one of his periodic verbal furies. She vacillates between tiptoeing around him and asserting herself for the sake of their kids—which works to keep a fragile peace—until the rainy day when they’re together in the car and Ben’s volatile temper gets the best of him, leaving Maddy in the hospital fighting for her life.

Randy Susan Meyers takes us inside the hearts and minds of her characters, alternating among the perspectives of Maddy, Ben, and their fourteen-year-old daughter. Accidents of Marriage is a provocative and stunning novel that will resonate deeply with women from all walks of life, ultimately revealing the challenges of family, faith, and forgiveness.  

Topics & Questions for Discussion 

1. Meyers begins her novel with an epigraph from Frida Kahlo that reads “There have been two great accidents in my life. One was the trolley, and the other was Diego. Diego was by far the worst.” Did the epigraph inform your reading of Accidents of Marriage? How did that relate to Maddy’s marriage to Ben?
 
2. Why do you think that Meyers chose to title her novel Accidents of Marriage? Aside from the major accident at the center of the novel, are there other accidents that occur within Ben and Maddy’s marriage? What are they?
 
3. Discuss the structure of Accidents of Marriage. What is the effect of having multiple narrators? Which narrator did you feel the most drawn to or have sympathy for? Why?
 
4. Does Maddy’s relationship with Emma evolve throughout the book? If so, describe how. Given the trauma in their family, did you think that the changes in their relationship were realistic? Why or why not?
 
5. Vanessa, Maddy's sister, seems cold and unaffected by Maddy's situation. Why?
 
6. What were your initial impressions of Ben? Did they change throughout Accidents of Marriage? In what ways and why? Do you think that he can change, as he promises? Why or why not?
 
7. Emma’s grandmother tells her “forgiveness can make you feel better.” (p. 303) Is she correct? Why is it so important to the family that Emma is able to say the words “I forgive you”? Why do you think Emma is unable to do so?
 
8. What role does religion play in the novel? Do Maddy’s and Ben’s different faiths exacerbate the challenges in their marriage? If so, how?
 
9. What character did you find yourself the most worried about and why?
 
10. If you were in Maddy's situation, would you stay with Ben or leave him? Explain your reasons why. Did you find her decision surprising, given her profession? If so, how?
 
11. Each of the children react differently to Maddy’s accident. How do they cope, if at all? What do you think the long-term effects on Emma will be? Explain your reasons.
 
12. After reading the ending, what do you think is ahead for Maddy and her family? Was the ending satisfying?

About The Author

Photograph by Sharona Jacobs
Randy Susan Meyers

Randy Susan Meyers is the internationally bestselling author of five novels, including Waisted, The Widow of Wall Street, Accidents of Marriage, The Comfort of Lies, and The Murderer’s Daughters. Her books have been designated one of the ten best works of fiction in 2010, 2014, and 2017 by the Massachusetts Center for the Book, an affiliate of the Library of Congress. She lives in Boston with her husband, where she teaches writing at the GrubStreet writing center. Her novels have been translated into more than twenty-six languages.

Product Details

  • Publisher: Atria Books (September 2, 2014)
  • Length: 368 pages
  • ISBN13: 9781451673067

Raves and Reviews

"This novel's unsparing look at emotional abuse and its devastating consequences gives it gravity and bite, while a glimpse into a physically damaged mind both surprises and fascinates."

– People

“Meyers’ novel explores how destructive emotional abuse by itself can be. . . [and] deftly deploys a large cast of major and minor characters in telling this complex story. Her painstaking description of both emotional abuse and brain injury are impressive. Accidents of Marriage isn’t for anyone who insists on happy endings, but it rewards readers in deeply satisfying ways. A complex, captivating tale.”

– Boston Globe

“Meyers puts a Boston family overwhelmed by a tragic accident under the literary microscope. Meyers, who has a background working with victims of domestic violence, examines the effects anger and violence can have on family members, as well as the courage that can be born from a new perspective and the lack of happily-ever-after in these real-life situations. The characters labor under intense pressure, and some crack while others rise to the challenge, giving Meyers’ tale both realism and a bittersweet quality that, in the hands of a lesser writer, could have ended up simply maudlin and contrived. Beautifully written, poignant and thought-provoking, this novel refuses to succumb to stereotypical reader expectations, making it even more memorable.”

– Kirkus (starred review)

"Sensitively written."

– Library Journal

"Meyers is quickly taking her place among the ranks of women’s fiction authors who write big-issue novels that explore the inner lives of women in crisis without descending into melodrama or cliché. Readers who enjoy Barbara Delinsky, Amy Hatvany, and Jodi Picoult will want to add Meyers to their to-read list."

– Booklist

"A deft exploration of the borders of abuse and the aftermath of tragedy, the triumphs and disappointments of recovery, and the possibilities of faith and forgiveness."

– Star Tribune

"Meyers writes compellingly; Maddy’s recovery is detailed and wrenching, as are vivid portraits of the children’s reactions to their family’s turmoil."

– Concord Monitor

"Many books are an absolute pleasure to read, but slip straight from your mind. Accidents of Marriage is one of those rare novels that is both unputdownable and unforgettable. I just loved it, and I'll now read everything Randy Susan Meyers writes."

– Liane Moriarty, New York Times bestselling author of The Husband's Secret

"Maddy and Ben have a complicated marriage. He’s got anger issues; she is messy and forgetful. One fateful morning these character traits clash – with devastating consequences. In this beautifully written novel, Randy Susan Meyers traces how the repercussions of a car accident expose fissures and long-held resentments from the past that force these characters to question everything. This is a wise and penetrating book.”

– Christina Baker Kline, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Orphan Train

"An incredibly accomplished and satisfying read, with an important message."

– Jane Green, New York Times bestselling author of Tempting Fate

"I read Accidents of Marriage in one day. Like Meyers' first two novels, this one—about a family paying a high price for rage and trying to reknit itself in the aftermath of the unthinkable—is compulsive reading. It's amazing how warm Meyers' writing is even as her stories grip you by the hand and don't let go."

– Jenna Blum, New York Times bestselling author of Those Who Save Us

"With the heart of a novelist and the tenacity of an investigative journalist, Meyers flawlessly depicts the evolution and consequences of emotional abuse. A master of perspective with an uncanny understanding of human nature, she has managed to make us empathize with every member of this damaged family. This is an important story, one I’ll be thinking about for a long time."

– Brunonia Barry, New York Times bestselling author of The Lace Reader

"Randy Susan Meyers is a genius of the human heart, and Accidents of Marriage is a profound education on the complexities of love, imperfection, damage, and responsibility. You'll feel as though a magically insightful friend is sharing the behind-the-scenes secrets of a family you may well know. She tells it like it is. No sugar-coating here, only truth in all its compelling beauty and might."

– Robin Black, author of Life Drawing

"Every marriage has its secret deals and compromises. In Accidents of Marriage, Randy Susan Meyers explores the vast complexity of this bond and lays out how passion, allegiance and love can go terribly wrong. She gives us characters we root for, even when they’re at odds, and she asks the questions:What is forgivable? When does a marriage become too broken to fix? With wisdom, humor and great compassion, Meyers answers in a story you won’t soon forget."

– Ann Bauer, The Forever Marriage

"A bold and poignant look into the complicated, slippery world of what constitutes emotional abuse, Accidents of Marriage explores what happens when tragic circumstance forces one family to reexamine the dysfunctional dynamics that have long-defined them. Meyers deftly pulled me in to this story from the first page, tying me to its tender and fearless heartbeat, and didn't let me go until the extremely satisfying end."

– Amy Hatvany, author of Safe With Me

"The intertwined traumas of emotional abuse and brain injury careen through every family member in this disturbing and deeply insightful story. Meyers captures the necessity and complexity of excavating the truth as the foundation of life moving forward."

– Janet Cromer, author of Professor Cromer Learns to Read: A Couple's New Life after Brain Injury

Awards and Honors

  • Walmart Read of the Month

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