1. Wednesday, April 2 WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2
The past twenty-four hours of my life have been so disgustingly NAUSEATING that I’m actually starting to feel like a… puddle of… um, cat… VOMIT!!

First I ruined my brand-new sweater with a PBJ and pickle sandwich (a long story).

Then I got hit in the face by a dodgeball during gym in front of the ENTIRE class and ended up trapped in a wacky fairy tale (an even longer story!).

Okay, I can handle the utter HUMILIATION of walking around school OBLIVIOUS to the fact that a SANDWICH is stuck to my abdomen like duct tape.

Hey, I can even handle a mild concussion. However, what I CAN’T handle is the fact that “someone” started an AWFUL rumor about me!

I overheard two CCP (Cute, Cool & Popular) girls gossiping about it in the bathroom.

Rumor has it that my CRUSH kissed me (at a charity event last weekend) on a DARE merely to snag a FREE large pizza from Queasy Cheesy!

Of course I totally FREAKED when I heard it! Not only is a dare like that rude and insensitive, but it’s a very cruel joke to play on a person like… well… ME!

I was SURE the whole thing was a big fat LIE! Sorry! But everyone knows Queasy Cheesy pizzas are just NASTY! Had it been a dare for a yummy Crazy Burger, I’d TOTALLY believe it!

Hey, I’ll be the first to admit, that rumor could have been A LOT worse. But STILL…!! I just wish “someone” would stay out of my personal business. And by “someone,” I mean my mortal enemy… MACKENZIE HOLLISTER !!

I don’t know why that girl HATES MY GUTS! It wasn’t MY fault Principal Winston gave her a three-day detention for “unsportsmanlike behavior” for slamming me in the face with that dodgeball.

I’m really LUCKY I’m not in a COMA right now! Or undergoing life-threatening surgery…

Anyway, as punishment for what MacKenzie did to me, she has to clean the bug-infested showers in the girls’ locker room.

Unfortunately, I learned today that the bug problem in there is REALLY bad!!

I was sitting behind MacKenzie in French class finishing up my homework when I noticed there was something stuck in her hair.

At first I thought it was one of those fancy designer barrettes she loves to wear. But when I took a closer look, I realized it was actually a gigantic dead STINK BUG!! EWW !!

That’s when I tapped her on the shoulder. “Um, MacKenzie! Excuse me, but I just wanted to let you know that—”

“Nikki, WHY are you even talking to me?! Just mind your OWN business!” she said, glaring at me like I was something her spoiled poodle, Fifi, had left in the grass in her backyard.
MACKENZIE, GLARING AT ME IN A VERY RUDE MANNER!
“Okay! Then I won’t tell you there’s a huge dead STINK BUG in your hair!” I said very calmly. “Besides, it kinda looks like an ugly barrette! And it totally complements your eye color!”

“WHAT?!” MacKenzie gasped, and her eyes got as big as saucers.

She whipped out her makeup mirror.

“OMG! OMG! There’s a big black… INSECT with prickly legs tangled in my golden tresses! EEEEEEEEEEEK!!!” she shrieked. Then she started jumping around hysterically and shaking her hair to get it out. She had a complete meltdown!

“You’re making it worse. Now it’s even more tangled in there. Just sit down and chillax!” I said as I grabbed a tissue and reached for her hair.

“GET AWAY FROM ME!!” she screamed. “I don’t want TWO disgusting CREATURES in my beautiful hair!”

“Stop acting like a spoiled BRAT!” I shot back. I’m just removing the bug for you! See?!”
ME, REMOVING THE STINK BUG FROM MACKENZIE’S HAIR
“That is DISGUSTING! Get it away from me!”

“You’re welcome!” I said, glaring at her.

“Hmph! Don’t expect a thank-you from me! It’s all YOUR fault that bug was in my hair! It’s probably from those nasty showers I’m being forced to clean.”

Suddenly she folded her arms and narrowed her eyes at me.

“Or maybe YOU put it in my hair to try to ruin my reputation! I bet you want everyone to think my house is overrun with disgusting bugs! Again.”

“MacKenzie, I think your lip gloss must be leaking into your brain. That’s ridiculous!”

“How could you put that nasty BUG in my hair?! I’m getting SICK just thinking about it. UGH!!”

Then she covered her mouth and mumbled something. But I couldn’t understand a word….
ME, TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT MACKENZIE WAS SAYING! Description 1
Although we were in French class, it definitely didn’t sound like she was speaking French!

By the time I FINALLY figured out what she was saying, it was TOO late.

Desperate, she took off running toward the wastebasket at the front of the room.

But, unfortunately, she DIDN’T make it.

I could NOT believe that MacKenzie Hollister, the QUEEN of the CCPs, actually threw up in front of the ENTIRE French class!

She was like a bad car accident! I really DIDN’T want to see her covered in puke from head to toe ! But I couldn’t help staring !

I have never seen her SO embarrassed. SO humiliated. SO vulnerable. SO um… MESSY!

I was both shocked and surprised when I was suddenly overcome with overwhelming emotion.

I had NEVER, EVER felt more SORRY for a human being in my ENTIRE life!…
POOR CHUCK THE JANITOR!! HE HAS A REALLY DIRTY JOB!
It seemed like such a grave injustice that HE had to clean up the horrible mess that MacKenzie had made.

Sometimes life is SO UNFAIR !!

But he took his job very seriously because he actually put on one of those paper mask thingies that doctors wear during surgery.

I’m guessing it was probably because of the very noxious and excessive… STINKAGE!

Anyway, our French teacher immediately sent MacKenzie down to the office to call her parents to go home for the rest of the day.

And instead of having class in our smelly, contaminated room, our teacher took us down to the library to quietly study our French vocabulary words.

Which was PERFECT for me because I was able to work on my special project for National Library Week later this month.

My BFFs, Chloe and Zoey, and I held a book drive for our school back in September, and it was a HUGE success.

So now we’re planning an even bigger one for National Library Week!

We’ll also be traveling to NYC for a book festival and will get to “Meet-n-Greet” some of our favorite authors. SQUEEEEEEE!!!

Anyway, I can’t believe MacKenzie ACTUALLY thinks I put that stink bug in her hair!!

Unfortunately for her, it looks like the kids in our class are already GOSSIPING about what happened.

One girl had her cell phone out. She showed it to a guy, and then they started snickering like crazy.

I guessed that she was probably texting the ENTIRE school!

But this whole thing is all MacKenzie’s fault!!

She totally OVERREACTED and FREAKED OUT even after I offered to help her.

MacKenzie is such a VOMIT QUEEN!

OOPS! I meant…

DRAMA QUEEN!

Sorry about that, MacKenzie!!

!!